Don't Punch Men.. Take The Test

Super Important Breaking News

I was reading the news chats and my suspicions have been confirmed... Brandi is wayyyyyyyyyyy too hot for Jarrod.. In accordance with mancode #345 paragraph 16 I must salute Jarrod for bagging a super hot ex-stripper wife while being poor and mildly retarded.. Salute !

Exclusive Pics of Christofags Thanksgiving Celebration

Hot pockets and a days supply of toilet paper..

Heppy Thanksgiving

This year the staff at Ask Zeeke voted and chose Angry Liver to DE-LIVER A Thanksgiving message of cheer to our devoted fans, but since all Angry Liver can say is "GRrRRrrrRRrrr" his message of holiday cheer is lost.. I feel bad because we bought him a little Pilgrim hat and everything, poor lil guy.. It's a shame because his eloquence really captured the true meaning of the holiday.. HEPPY THANKSGIVING !

What Kind of Wood Doesnt Float ?

Natalie Wood of course.. But my favorite Natalie Wood joke of all time is.. What did Robert Wagner say to Natalie Wood as they were boarding the yacht ? " Ok honey, you can have a drink just don't go overboard ".. BADABINGBABYYYYYYYYYY..

Strong Visual Evidence Proves Photo To be Bogus

In order to keep Ask Zeeke fair and unbiased I am compelled to prove the newly surfaced photo is NOT Toothless Bob.. Although we can see many similarities, as I suspected the lack of jailhouse tats proves beyond a shadow of doubt that the new picture is bogus.. A while back someone sent me a picture of a dead bloated hippo claiming it was really Fat Maddy but the Ask Zeeke staff concluded that although similar the hippo didnt have eyebags or Deputy Dawg jowls so it wasn't possible the picture could be Maddy.. We here at Ask Zeeke take our credibility seriously and will be taking steps to insure this type of rampant speculation is kept to a minimum.. Now sit back, relax and enjoy the wonder of Toothless Bobs spectacular mantits..

New Toothless Bob Pic ?

Someone sent me this picture claiming it was Toothless Bob.. Our sources cannot confirm or deny the information is correct but lack of jailhouse tats seem to indicate the picture isn't really him.. Logic also tells us that Bob couldnt gum a bite out of a sandwich cleanly and would likely run it thru a blender and eat it with a spoon.. Although the fat schlub in the picture is wearing a filthy doorag and is similar in general appearance and ickness the staff here at Ask Zeeke will decline further speculation into this mystery..

Geezin At the beach

Our crack investigative staff caught Christofag , Mikey and Auto at the beach during the old farts day celebration.. So of course our super innovative cutting edge hi-tech art department at Ask Zeeke had a little fun..

Golly.. Someone Missed A Dose of Metamucil..

Automotive1: you need to be rubbed out

Zeeke G Sanford.. The G Stands For Guhhhhhhhhhh..

After reading Ronnie talking about the joy of recycling scrap metal for profit I decided to load up a truck full of old motors, industrial shelving and random heavy metal things I had accumulated from various MAN projects and head to the local recycling center.. 1300 pounds of scrap metal paid 130 American dollars.. 10 dollars a hundred...amazing.. The last time I took anything to a recycling center I had over a ton and got a measly 23 dollars and it barely paid for gas.. Thanx Ron..I'm well on my way to building an EMPIRE of Zeeke dollars .. I'm not sure how Faggy will spin this on Ugly's blog but I might suggest posting that I'm nearly destitute or that I need the money for rehab.. I was thinking that 130 dollars would buy at least 2 blowjobs from his fiance and I wouldn't even expect her to clean anything like the other dude did... I'll let her load the truck for 25% of the profit and she can take care of bidness on the ride to the recycling center.. Have her give me a call and we can schedule..

Congratulations.. YOU are Insignificant..

Bonnies gone, Spamloaf is gone.. Toothless Bob is gone.. Fat Maddy is gone.. Redslime is gone.. GuyLikesDick is gone.. Faggy was abandoned like a prom night dumpster baby so it's my honor to crown Christofag the imperial King of Insignificance..

Finally.. A National Holiday We Should Care About..

Thats right fellow americans.. 11-11-11 is national Nigel Tufnel day.. He taught us that 11 is louder than 10..