Zeekes Thoughts On Michael Jackson

" Michael is about as relevent in todays society as the clap " ( a Zeeke quote ) Somewhere between the cute little kid singing " ABC " thru the allegations of child molestation and a masked freak dangling his infant son off a balcony 5 flights up Michael made a shitload of piss poor life decisions.. Michael was paying Uri Gellar millions of dollars for spiritual advice when he could have been using the service I provide for free.. My best advice would have been this.. "Have sex with the chimp Michael at least it wont talk and ruin your career"...(on a sad note bubbles the chimp was euthanized after it displayed agression towards humans)


I'm looking for a new place to hang out on Saturday nights.. I need suggestions..

Since the DUDDY crowd has discovered my current fun spot and decided it was a cool place to hang out naturally I cant be seen there anymore so I need a new watering hole.. Its a damn shame because I really liked that place.. So if anyone knows of another friendly dive with sticky floors, white trash atmosphere and really funny looking regulars, hook me up..


Thoughts on Kung Fu guy dying..

Sad Sad Sad.. My Childhood heros shouldnt end up dead in a hotel room In China with one end of a rope around their neck and the other end around the man gear.. Foul play is suspected of course, But I've seen Qui Chang escape from ropes zillions of times in Kung Fu so likely he was doing something freaky in the closet where he died.. If only his master had said this "grasshopper, The body is a temple, not a carnival of self pleasure" Oh well.. RIP Kung Fu Guy..


Zeeke, Are you Homophobic ?

Homphobic ? Me ? I'm not homophobic.. I love me some lesbians but gay man sex is just plain gross..


Where do I get a copy of the Manly Man handbook ?

A super secret organization hand delivers copies shortly after a boy reaches puberty.. Boys who play with dolls or spend afternoons dressing up in his sisters clothing are scratched off the list and given another book titled, "I hate my penis" and kicked out of the man club forever.. This is really all the information I can give or I run the risk of exposing our secret book to the world..


Is it Ok to watch a girl masturbate on cam ?

I'm scanning the Manly Man handbook and I see nothing on the subject.. Ahhhh.. Found it, Manly Man handbook page 34, Mid page.. It says.. "Obviously if you are in a relationship with someone the answer is PRETTY simple NO,Its unacceptable, But if you are not currently involved with anyone, Bored shitless and she doesnt look like a linebacker and has less then 4 chins you have a manly duty to watch or you run the risk of being infected by the GAY virus" The Book has spoken..


What happened to Team Toothless ?

What a great question to kick off the summer.. Well, Team Toothless self destructed.. I told them for months that hate based friendships were never permanent and that eventually they would turn on each other like a pack of wild dogs and of course Zeeke was 100% correct as usual.. I might suggest new leadership because in all honesty a fat moronic trucker looking for a meal ticket and some dumb whore from Washington State obsessing over a dead penis doomed them all for failure.. Maybe now that the fat bimbo from California's dying husband has finally dumped her she has more free time to devote to the cause and will assume a more prominent leadership role and can heal the devastating emotional wounds they inflicted on each other and spearhead some sort of lame assed, hapless comeback.. Hopefully they all learned valuable life lessons from the blunders they made and will somehow rise again from the ashes like a Big Toofless Phoenix.. I wish them well..


Back to the questions..

I've decided the world needed more Zeeke.. The magic 8 ball is repaired and ready for action, Of course I'll need some questions to kick off the summer Ask Zeeke campaign so fire away..