12/31/11

Toothless Bob's New Years Eve Date


Toothless Bob was seen in Guys and Dolls bragging about his super hot New Year's Eve Date.. Ask Zeeke's crack investigative staff lifted this image off his facebook page and made it public.. Way to go Bob.. She's a hottie..

12/30/11

12/29/11

Capturing The Moment

I think this picture sums up the current state of Faggy's AOL career pretty well.. As Resland would say.. " It fits it to a TEE "




12/28/11

His Head Fits Everywhere

Even up his own ass..

12/27/11

Yeah.. It's Just Like that..

Poor Faggy.. All the chatters left his party..

12/26/11

Christmas In Halethorpe

Bonnie's panty liner also doubled as her Ghetto Fabulous christmas tree..

12/25/11

Heppy Holidays


Once again the staff at Ask Zeeke picked reader favorite "Angry" to DE-LIVER our special Holiday message of Joy and Heppiness.. GRRRRRGrrrrrrGrrrrrrrrGRRRrgrrrrrrr.. Translation : Heppy Holidays Everyone..

12/24/11

Special Holiday Advisory

DON'T FORGET BATTERIES !

12/23/11

Frooty The Limp Wristed Elf

Our crack photography staff caught Frooty the limpwristed elf moments before he won the White Swallow Inn's annual deepthroating contest..


12/22/11

Big And Interesting ?

What scoop could be worthy of such a bold statement ? Zeeke is really a space alien ? Ronnie is really a 26 inch tall 300 pound dwarf ? Ham goes to church every Sunday ? Itchy cooks with a microwave oven ? Those would all be big big big news.. One thing we know is the blog post wont be about Redsky because shes big and uninteresting.. BADDABINGBABYYYYYYYYY..

12/21/11

What Was She Thinking ?

RedSkyBay [7:38 P.M.]: You can't come into our room, you be a bad, bad boy
RedSkyBay [7:39 P.M.]: There is going to be something big and interesting coming up on the Ugly blog
RedSkyBay [7:40 P.M.]: Then it will close again

12/20/11

12/19/11

Throwdown 2011

Top that Ronnie !

12/18/11

Reminder

Heppy the snowman reminding you .. 7 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS

12/17/11

Why Waste A 5th Grade Education ?

ButterflyBeMe54: good night embiciles

12/15/11

10 Days Til Christmas

Toothless Bob the lying obese broke assed dentally challenged deep throating gloryhole elf was chosen by the Ask Zeeke staff to officially kick off the holiday season.. He puts the Ho in Ho Ho Ho..

12/14/11

Another Milestone.. Ask Zeeke's 300th post..

I wish to thank all the people who made this possible.. YOU the readers.. It's been my honor to provide you with some outrageous laughs and hopefully provide a little insight into the mindless stupidity that surrounds Maryland Chat.. Not a single word posted in a blog should have any significant impact on anyones life but look at the utter madness Zeeke has created.. The last time I looked at Ugly's smear rag Zeeke hate had consumed it entirely.. It's really mindblowing to think that a character I created to make fun of the the AOL establishment a decade ago could still have such a profound impact on so many peoples lives but the evidence is clear, Zeeke has.. I think Faggy's anti-zeeke campaign has been the funniest self destruction I've ever witnessed.. He's become everything he detests and theres no way for anyone to view that except laugh at the old senile coot and call it a TOTAL VICTORY ! So anyway.. Ask Zeeke will continue providing its readers with the same high quality nonsense you have come to expect from A true giant of the industry and please always remember.... ZEEKE HATE ROONS LIFES !

12/13/11

Stark Contrast..


Stark contrasts between Palm Beach Santa and the West Virginia Santa.. West Virginia Santa cruises around in a beat up golf cart strung with a few lights, some ratty tinsel and always had a beer in his hand... Palm Beach Santa cruises around in a 5 million dollar yacht strung with thousands of lights and porn star hot helpers... Seriously.. You need to pack a bag and get down here now !

12/12/11

Postcard From Florida

As most of you know the staff of Ask Zeeke is taking a little RnR in Palm Beach Florida.. The family compound is utterly amazing.. This morning we sat by the pool in 79 degree weather and watched the ocean while we had coffee and caught up on the years... Tomorrow we are taking the Cessna down to Key Largo to see the OTHER beach house.. Now I know how powerball winners feel when they look down and see they have the winning numbers.. JACKPOT !

12/11/11

Whatever Happened To Frooty The Limp Wristed Swami ?

We found Frooty alive and well.. Our crack photography team caught the limpwristed swami performing a pre-fisting ritual before offering up his bunghole up for a night of manly fun at the White Swallow Inn..

12/10/11

LIVER LET DIE

This morning I purchased an online medical degree and as a public service the staff at Ask Zeeke will start offering FREE medical advice..

The first product we will recommend is Liverite.. Study's have shown that good liver function is critical to general health and mental well being.. Without a healthy liver toxins build up in the blood and make normal life impossible.. Signs of a failing liver include.. Comma abuse, Poor grammar, Using big words incorrectly, Living in Halethorpe, Dependence on welfare, Living in section 8 housing, No job in 40 years, Having 57 blogs and 52 of them are related to the same subject, Crying at Walmart, Feeling victimized by a society in which you have contributed nothing, Inability to keep friendships, Self degradation and Sucking dick for Kools.. Of course this is a partial list but if you show any of these warning signs you would benefit greatly from Liverite unless of course you have Hep C then just give up because you will die soon and it's a waste of taxpayer money.. I hope you found this new segment informative and HEPful..

12/9/11

Ask Zeeke Readers Answer The Call To Action..

Ask Zeeke recon photographers caught this scene of total destruction of public enemy number 1.. (no not Bonnies liver or K2's imaginary sense of humor) .. GREAT VICTORY was acheived in a tactical strike which occured sometime last evening.. The Ask Zeeke Delta Force team suffered no casualties but a helicopter was downed in the operation which is now in enemy hands.. Obviously for security reasons the exact location must remain secret and further details will be addressed at a national press conference later this week..

12/8/11

Scourge of Society..

No.. Not bonnies liver or K2's imaginary sense of humor, I'm talking about something so sinister it threatens the very core of society.. Inflatable christmas lawn decorations.. LIFES ARE BEING DESTROYT and they must be stopped before civilization as we know it is ROONT.. The culture of proper and tasteful outdoor Christmas lighting is under attack and future generations will be denied the joy of untangling cheap light strings or relish in the frustration of finding that one burnt out bulb that wont allow the string to light.. Don't allow yourself to become a slave to the instant gratification of yard inflatables.. The future of mankind depends on YOU..

12/7/11

48 Billion Dollar Upgrade



Last week I purchased new software which gave me the ability to create high quality graphic art.. We here at Ask Zeeke are constantly searching for ways to improve our silly little corner of the blogosphere and spending 48 billion dollars to create a dancing sausage and a plug strip cartoon seem like money well spent.. We here at Ask Zeeke take our blogging duties seriously and will continue to improve our content and provide millions of readers worldwide with the same high quality nonsense and meaningless crap they have come to expect from our satire-iffic labor of love we call Ask Zeeke.. I LOVE YOUZ GUYZ YOU KNOW I DO !

12/5/11

K2's Sausage Party Avatar

The Ask Zeeke graphic arts department created an avatar for the Maryland No Drama room sausage party.. Although I'm not sure 3 old geezers is a party it might help attract new recruits to the swordfight..


12/4/11

One Upmanship

I thought since Ronnie posted pics of his workshop I would post a pic of the inner workings of a typical day here at Zeeke's top secret lab-or-a-tory.. Here the staff at Ask Zeeke is shown using the Zombie ray on yet another unsuspecting Aoler but sadly we missed and burnt out his liver so I sent him over to the tards at Team Hep where he went insane and eventually kill himself.. OOPSSSS....

12/3/11

4 Words That Changed The World Forever

Ask Zeeke is sad to report the loss of a cultural icon.. Bill " squeal like a pig " McKinney has passed away after a bout with cancer.. Ned Beatty's rape in the 1972 movie Deliverance remains the single most disturbing scene ever put on film.. (unless of course you are ChristopherK2 then its the stuff hot sweaty man dreams are made of ) In accordance with mancode paragraph 27 I've watched Deliverance half a dozen times and have never been able watch the scene in its entirety without turning my head.. I encourage Ask Zeeke readers to google excerpts from Burt Reynolds book about Bill McKinney and the backstory of the rape scene and how far McKinney was willing to take it.. One thing is curious though.. Why did it take 39 years to die from an arrow wound ?... RIP Mr McKinney..

12/2/11

Zeeke's TV Pick Of The Week


With quotes like " You fat useless piece of yankee doodle shit "or " I'll get you more pumpkin and ram it right up your arse, would you like it diced or whole ? " Gordon Ramsay is like Benny Hill on crack.. Viewer tip.. Watch unfiltered Gordon on BBC 4.. American versions of his shows have all the best quotes edited out.. BLOODY WANKER !

11/28/11

Super Important Breaking News

I was reading the news chats and my suspicions have been confirmed... Brandi is wayyyyyyyyyyy too hot for Jarrod.. In accordance with mancode #345 paragraph 16 I must salute Jarrod for bagging a super hot ex-stripper wife while being poor and mildly retarded.. Salute !




11/25/11

Exclusive Pics of Christofags Thanksgiving Celebration

Hot pockets and a days supply of toilet paper..

11/24/11

Heppy Thanksgiving


This year the staff at Ask Zeeke voted and chose Angry Liver to DE-LIVER A Thanksgiving message of cheer to our devoted fans, but since all Angry Liver can say is "GRrRRrrrRRrrr" his message of holiday cheer is lost.. I feel bad because we bought him a little Pilgrim hat and everything, poor lil guy.. It's a shame because his eloquence really captured the true meaning of the holiday.. HEPPY THANKSGIVING !

11/23/11

What Kind of Wood Doesnt Float ?

Natalie Wood of course.. But my favorite Natalie Wood joke of all time is.. What did Robert Wagner say to Natalie Wood as they were boarding the yacht ? " Ok honey, you can have a drink just don't go overboard ".. BADABINGBABYYYYYYYYYY..

11/20/11

Strong Visual Evidence Proves Photo To be Bogus

In order to keep Ask Zeeke fair and unbiased I am compelled to prove the newly surfaced photo is NOT Toothless Bob.. Although we can see many similarities, as I suspected the lack of jailhouse tats proves beyond a shadow of doubt that the new picture is bogus.. A while back someone sent me a picture of a dead bloated hippo claiming it was really Fat Maddy but the Ask Zeeke staff concluded that although similar the hippo didnt have eyebags or Deputy Dawg jowls so it wasn't possible the picture could be Maddy.. We here at Ask Zeeke take our credibility seriously and will be taking steps to insure this type of rampant speculation is kept to a minimum.. Now sit back, relax and enjoy the wonder of Toothless Bobs spectacular mantits..

11/18/11

New Toothless Bob Pic ?


Someone sent me this picture claiming it was Toothless Bob.. Our sources cannot confirm or deny the information is correct but lack of jailhouse tats seem to indicate the picture isn't really him.. Logic also tells us that Bob couldnt gum a bite out of a sandwich cleanly and would likely run it thru a blender and eat it with a spoon.. Although the fat schlub in the picture is wearing a filthy doorag and is similar in general appearance and ickness the staff here at Ask Zeeke will decline further speculation into this mystery..

11/17/11

Geezin At the beach


Our crack investigative staff caught Christofag , Mikey and Auto at the beach during the old farts day celebration.. So of course our super innovative cutting edge hi-tech art department at Ask Zeeke had a little fun..

11/16/11

Golly.. Someone Missed A Dose of Metamucil..

Automotive1: you need to be rubbed out

11/15/11

Zeeke G Sanford.. The G Stands For Guhhhhhhhhhh..

After reading Ronnie talking about the joy of recycling scrap metal for profit I decided to load up a truck full of old motors, industrial shelving and random heavy metal things I had accumulated from various MAN projects and head to the local recycling center.. 1300 pounds of scrap metal paid 130 American dollars.. 10 dollars a hundred...amazing.. The last time I took anything to a recycling center I had over a ton and got a measly 23 dollars and it barely paid for gas.. Thanx Ron..I'm well on my way to building an EMPIRE of Zeeke dollars .. I'm not sure how Faggy will spin this on Ugly's blog but I might suggest posting that I'm nearly destitute or that I need the money for rehab.. I was thinking that 130 dollars would buy at least 2 blowjobs from his fiance and I wouldn't even expect her to clean anything like the other dude did... I'll let her load the truck for 25% of the profit and she can take care of bidness on the ride to the recycling center.. Have her give me a call and we can schedule..

11/14/11

Congratulations.. YOU are Insignificant..

Bonnies gone, Spamloaf is gone.. Toothless Bob is gone.. Fat Maddy is gone.. Redslime is gone.. GuyLikesDick is gone.. Faggy was abandoned like a prom night dumpster baby so it's my honor to crown Christofag the imperial King of Insignificance..

11/11/11

Finally.. A National Holiday We Should Care About..




Thats right fellow americans.. 11-11-11 is national Nigel Tufnel day.. He taught us that 11 is louder than 10..

10/19/11

So Anyway...

As most people know my mother passed away on October 7th.... Her health turned from various managable conditions into a fast downward spiral.. I would like to personally thank those who sent condolences and offered a kind words.. It really means a lot to know people care.. Evidently her obituary was posted on Ugly's blog and other than Takoma popping into the Marylanders over 35 room and calling my dead mother a retard twice a day things have been pretty quiet.. I guess Takoma forgets that I know his name is John Lowery and I have spoken with his daughter Lurena.. I'm not sure a good christian church goin man would behave that way so thats all likely yet another Takoma lie.. Personally I think he spends Sunday mornings arguing with his refrigerator because the toaster told him the fridge is talking shit on him again..

9/25/11

When Zeeke Hate Isn't Enough..

Alliances were formed.. The battleplan was drawn... Faggy was bloggin.. HepSquatch was googlin.. Spamloaf was drinkin.. The rest of the tards were cheering.. Finally Zeeke was going to be DESTROYT !.. Where did it all go wrong ?.. As funny as it is to see Christofag and the Hep Sisters at each others throats I feel a little saddened that Zeeke hate wasnt enough to keep the Toothless misfits unified.. ZEEKE HATE ROONS LIFES !

9/14/11

Breaking News.. Zeeke Comments On Ugly's Blog..

That's right fellow americans.. The Silence is broken.. Zeeke the god of chat dispensed a few words of wisdom to the hungry masses and also took a moment to inform Kylen that her ass is getting big.. I also called the Washington county sewer dept so they can prepare for Christofag shitting out a Buick sometime tomorrow when he reads it.. I cant wait to see where Ugly's tracker said I was because I was at an undisclosed location when I submitted the comment.. GOOD LUCK AND GOOD SNOOPING !.... Special Zeeke note.. I went 2 years without reading that hateful smear rag and it will likely be another 2 years before I read it again so don't expect a pissing contest with those delusional retards.. I'm sure Faggy will take my post apart piece by piece and tell you what I meant to say or discover some deep hidden meaning behind my decision to post on the blog at this place in time but really none exists.. Someone said go look at the crazy shit Faggy and Bonnie were posting so I did.. About all I can say is for a man who deplores drama and ugly behavior Faggy sure is up to his orange teeth in it.. congratulations Faggy.. Like Bonnie you have become everything you detest..

9/12/11

Feel The Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

annoyance2856: wow the same three and a different one
annoyance2856: amazing
annoyance2856: how stupid can you be
annoyance2856: surrender the room you idiots

9/11/11

The Funniest Team Toothless Crackpot Theory Hateful Smear Rag Post Of The Week

Anonymous said... Don't let the Zombies fool you. The Love Festered room does have a bolt. Ham just sits outside of the room and darts in like a slobbering retard to bolt anyone she doesn't like.
Ham has fallen to the bottom of the food chain. It must suck to sit hours on end waiting to sneak up on someone for the purpose of bolting them.
It is time for the wacky farm Ham
September 10, 2011 8:46 PM

9/2/11

Worldwide Reports Confirm Team Toothless Split

Just over the AP wire.. It's been confirmed that Team Toothless suffered massive casualties as the result of losing the bolt in the Maryland room.. It appears to be the result of overinflated ego's and total miscalculation of character within its own organization.. The hapless bunch of rag-tag battle worn misfits has split into 2 camps but fighting continued well into the early morning hours of 9/2 when Spam complained about Christofag to an unidentified source in a confidential instant message.. We can expect heavy fighting to continue through the holiday weekend which will result in Christofag justifying himself and his actions on a hateful smear rag sometime Monday morning further escalating the violence.. A spokesman for the Zombie Alliance is quoted as saying "When you have a group of individuals bound together by hate and a common goal and you remove one element the walls collapse, They lost the bolt, everything fell apart and now they are turning on each other like hungry wolves" Other Zombie Alliance members were reported to be laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation while discussing the upcoming football season.. Ask Zeeke will keep you updated as the casualty count rises and this explosive situation continues to develop.. ZEEKE OUT !

9/1/11

What Happens On The First ?

Yes.. Bonnie gets fresh gas station sausage and class A smokes but I'm talking about the monthly ZEEKE use tax.. When I clicked into Uglys smear rag to total up the bill I SEENT a post from Bonnie ripping into Christofag and airing a buncha Team Toothless dirt which is worth far more to me than the 52 million dollars I would have collected from the ZEEKE use tax... So everyones off the hook this month but billing will resume next month so ZEEKE away..

8/31/11

Damn Bob Lay Off The Fatburgers


Two things are evident in that picture.. One is a fiberglass cow and the other is that Bob's 3000 dollar BLOWFLEX gold is sitting somewhere rusting.. lets see how many comments I can make about an obese toothless trucker sitting on a fake cow..

8/30/11

Special Zeeke Commentary

Yes.. I have found a way to have the same name in 2 chatrooms at once.. Is it the 400 step process Bonehead talks about in the previous post ? of course not.. I can assure everyone it DOES NOT involve AOL 2.5 thru 5 or dialup.. What gets in that womans head to make her post such stupid shit ? Oh right.. The Hep virus.. durrrrrrrrr.. After I discovered how to do the multiple chatrooms thing I told Itchy and Ron how to do it and we all said.. " This will make Bonnies hair fall out in clumps ".. Looks like we were right.. She was up at 3am googling " cloning " and developing crackpot theories that only a mentally deficient person could find plausible.. I'm glad someone sent me the blogpost because it reminded me how fucked up and warped her brain is and how happy I am to be away from all that nonsense.. ZOMBIE LOVE RULES !

8/29/11

Please Upgrade To AOL 5 So You Can Mess With Retards

From: XXXXXXXXX@aol.com
To: TheZeekEffect@aol.com
Sent: 8/29/2011 6:50:59 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time
Subj: LOL her theory how you are in 2 rooms LOL

Leave it to the the unsnrupulous deceptive morons!

I was checking the rooms out this morning and I noticed that the screen names GodLuvsZeeke and SxyDelaBabeRed were both in the Marylandersover35 chat room and the Maryland Love Fest room and, was wondering how that was possible... So, I looked up Cloning and this is what I found.

Cloning

Cloning is the process of signing onto two AOL screen names at the same time. This is done by signing on to AOL4 or AOL5 through the phone line then AOL2.5 through the internet connection provided by AOL4 or 5.

Beware: AOL does not let two screen names on the same account to be signed on at the same time. Therefore, make sure you have two screen names available, with each on a seperate account.
Setting up your Computer

Download AOL4 or AOL5 if you dont already have it - Keyword: Upgrade
Download AOL2.5 - AOL25.exe
Download the latest version of UltraEdit32 - uedit32.zip
When loading America Online, the AOL program checks to see if another America Online is open. If another AOL is open then the AOL you are opening will not load. So in order to load another AOL we need to trick the AOL program into thinking there are no other AOLs open. The window that AOL looks for while opening is called AOL Frame25. So we need to open another AOL version and change the name of it to something other than AOL Frame25 (We will change it to AOL Frame26). The following instructions show how to accomplish this task.
Doing this will you to open AOL4.0 or AOL5.0 and AOL2.5 at the same time.
Open UltraEdit (Click Start | Programs | UltraEdit32 | UltraEdit | UltraEdit-32 Text Editor)
Click the menus File | Open
Navigate to the AOL2.5 directory and open waol.exe (eg. C:\AOL25\waol.exe)
Click the menus Find | Replace
In the "Find What" text box type AOL Frame25
In the "Replace With" text box type AOL Frame24
Click "Replace All" then click "Yes" on the Confirmation Message box
Click File | Save
Close UltraEdit
In this step you will change the sign on options in AOL2.5.
Doing this will let you connect to AOL through your online connection with AOL4/5.
Open AOL2.5
Click "Setup" on the Sign On screen
Click "Create Location" on the Network & Modem Setup window
A window should appear "Network Setup". Where it says "Network" and gives a list of options choose from the combo box "TCP/IP" Click here for an illustration
Click "Save"
Click "Ok"
Close AOL2.5Now you are ready to clone

Sign onto AOL4 or AOL5
Open AOL4 or AOL5
Choose the screen name you want to sign on as, type in your password and sign on.
Minimize AOL4 or AOL5 but still keep it open
Sign on AOL2.5
Open AOL2.5
Click "Setup" on the Sign on screen
From the Network and Modem Setup window choose the last item (It may be "New Locality" or something else but don't select "Home")
Select Guest from the sign on list and sign on Congratulations!
If everything has worked correctly then you should be signed on two screen names at once: one screen name with AOL4 or AOL5 and another with AOL2.5.
You can edit another AOL version using the same process and sign on another screen name. However, most people dont have three accounts to use. You can sign on an AIM name as well.
Questions? Comments? Problems? xxalphai@aol.com

I have one question though...........What exactly is the point of doing this? Could it be that Zeeke really doesnt have a life? He is always accusing others of "having no life" and always saying that "AOL is......so and so's life". Sure seems as though Zeeke is the one whose life is totally engrossed by AOL. Where he can harass, attack, varbally abuse and, threaten people without suffering any consequenses. You could say that Zeeke lives a sheltered life, and that shelter he hides in is AOL!
Posted by Bonnie at 2:53 AM... Seriously.. Shes up at 3 AM stressing over why I have the same name in 2 different rooms ? Look at what she found.. AOL 2.5 ? AOL 4 ? please upgrade to AOL 5 ? Dialup ? That shits more outdated than Spams hairstyle and like all of Bonnies crackpot theories totally wrong..

More Driveby Fun..

OnlineHost: SNOTPlKKR has entered the room.
SNOTPlKKR: ZEEK u still giving up real life 4 cyber chatrooms GOOD MOVE ZEEK u ever pay back the widow's money you took&bonnie told the room u went 2 her house once&she took a pic on her cell she sent it LMAO zeel went 2 bonnies house
OnlineHost: SNOTPlKKR has left the room.

8/26/11

Chuckle Chuckle

OnlineHost: Svapam has entered the room.
OnlineHost: Svapam has left the room.
OnlineHost: BonniesbackUazz has entered the room.
OnlineHost: BonniesbackUazz has left the room.
OnlineHost: BonniesbackUazz has entered the room.
OnlineHost: BonniesbackUazz has left the room.
OnlineHost: BonniesbackUazz has entered the room.
OnlineHost: BonniesbackUazz has left the room.
OnlineHost: Svapam has entered the room.
OnlineHost: Svapam has left the room.
OnlineHost: BonniesbackUazz has entered the room.
OnlineHost: BonniesbackUazz has left the room.

8/25/11

Great Leadership And Proper Planning

Within seconds of regaining possession of the old room the ZOMBIE EMERGENCY PLAN was implemented and carried out with the precision of a seal team 6 extraction unit.. Zombie assets were locked down tight and the perimeter was sealed with no chance of a Team Toothless counter attack.. Zombie Snipers were placed on rooftops and picked off a few stragglers but no real threat ever materialized.. The Zombie plan was flawless.. On the other hand Team Toothless is still in total disarray 30 hours after the AOL reset.. Bonnie and Spamloaf are clicking all over the place with no real direction or strategy and our elite recon force noted on several occasions that Team Toothless members were sitting alone in 4 different rooms.. Once again the Zombies demonstrated superior intellect and composure under fire which won the day.. ZOMBIES RULE !

8/24/11

BREAKING NEWS

GREAT VICTORY was won today over the evil forces of Team Toothless as both rooms fell under control of the Zombies.. It's been rumored that Christofag hung himself while wearing his mothers bra and panties.. Bonnies liver exploded.. Spam drank herself into a coma ( nothing new ).. Mikey and Guy are missing in action but it's been reported that at the time of the room switch they were involved in homosexual activity at a pickle park somewhere in Dundalk.. ZOMBIES RULE !

8/23/11

DISCLAIMER

Zeeke DID NOT.. I Repeat DID NOT cause the earthquake.

8/21/11

She's Still Nuttier Than Grammas Christmas Fruitcake

I havent paid much attention to the current state of Bonnies mental health since the old room died but sometimes things are mentioned and you just gotta say.. Damn, that bitch is totally insane.. We all knew Cindy was in the hospital recently.. I cant disclose the reason because of national security implications but the Hep sisters accused her of making the whole thing up and attempted to prove it by admitting they called every hospital in Maryland looking for her.. Seriously.. is this rational behavior ? I THINK NOT !

8/17/11

SPECIAL UPDATE.. Spams Drinking Early Today

OnlineHost: Svapam has entered the room.
Svapam: fontal is a pimp
Svapam: you heard it here first
OnlineHost: Svapam has left the room.

Hep Infected And Drunk Is No Excuse

OnlineHost: BonniesbackUazz has entered the room.
OnlineHost: BonniesbackUazz has left the room
OnlineHost: Svapam has entered the room.
Svapam: breaking news alert
Svapam: pink pig shaped blimp lands in lady's backyard
Svapam: seems it was blown there by heavy winds
Svapam: and it lost all it's hot air
Svapam: has the name cindy on it
OnlineHost: BOnaMI43 has left the room.
Svapam: anyone losing a pig shaped blimp is advised to notify their local police station
OnlineHost: Svapam has left the room. ( end of drunken spew ) I cut out the 25 pop-ins Bonnie and Spam made in the Love Fest room just before Spam's alcohol induced rage made her post that.. Good luck justifying that behavior to Christofag...

8/16/11


Another birthday came and went and still no jet powered ATV.. I've decided instead of waiting for my legions of adoring fans to buy me one as a birthday gift I would build my own and fund it in a non traditional manner.. Starting today, Everytime the word "ZEEKE" is posted online that person owes me a dollar and if I'm the subject of a blog its 10 dollars.. You will recieve a monthly bill for ZEEKE usage and prompt payment will be expected.. I'm figuring 20 grand a month will be generated from Christofag and his ZEEKE obsessed smear rag alone so that will cover the T-38 jet turbine I found on Ebay.. The rest of the build can be funded thru ZEEKE mentions in the Team Toothless controlled chatroom.. Add in HepWHore and Spamloaf's IM's and random crybabies who feel victimized by a font and lash out in anger and a small fortune is only a few months away.. I'm setting a timeline for completion by July 2012 so obsess away tardos and make my dream a reality..

8/15/11

Happy Birthday Zeeke !


As my fans and crazed stalkers know.. Today is my birthday.. I usually let is slide with as little fanfare as possible but this year I decided to announce it and say thank you for the many many gifts I will recieve on this glorious day.. What is that dripping from her mouth ? ( insert answer here ) Have a Zombieriffic day !

8/14/11

Another MYSTERY Email !

I got another email from Dulcepisme@yahoo.com.. ( the woman who busted out GuyLikesDick for being a perverted webcam freak ) "It appears another marylander is up to no good with the ladies. This one might be even worse than that faggy guy. I've been watching this one unfold for a few months. Funny how people (especially women) like to cry on my shoulders. I have to admit, I came into the Maryland room a few months back and watched the man who has been stringing along a clueless woman. I'll be doing a favor to the women he's probably chatting up there in private and getting a little payback in for his " victim". Sounds like he has gone out and met people from the Maryland room and he has a profession that everyone admires, hence the surprise when he's exposed. I'm just waiting for this woman ( who he has told how much he cares for her, wants her and wants to meet her bs etc etc) to realize he's lying and wash her hands of him then I'll lower the boom without too much collateral damage. I write you because you tell it like it is, and the perpetrators will have no idea where you get your information If you're not interested, reply back and put "not interested" in the subject and I'll try to find someone else that had the right persona to "share" this info with credibility." ..... I'm not even the least bit curious who shes talking about so I'm not replying to the email but if anyone feels the need to GET THE POOP feel free..

8/9/11

Exclusive Pictures of Nanci's Party



Ask Zeeke camera crews were hard at work covering the annual AOL event of the year.. Here we see Skeeter enjoying himself dancing with a few of the ladies..

8/8/11

Wrong Wrong Wrong

Once again Team Toothless is trying to rewrite history by posting outright lies and wild speculation as fact.. I thought for the sake of truth I would put the history of the LOVE FEST room in writing so future generations could have a reference point from a reliable and credible source.. Centuries ago a Zeeke obsessed old gurlyman named Christofagk2 got the bolt in the MarylandersOver35 chatroom.. After a full day of posting rules and regulations concerning conduct and explaining that if you wish to remain you must bow before Team Toothless and endure the Hep Sisters constant badgering without reply or be banned.. It was clear to the majority of Marylanders that Christofags senility driven detachment from reality and lack of basic social skills was not going to be conducive to maintaining A quality chat environment so naturally everyone turned to ZEEKE as the savior because I'm the one person who could be bold enough to start a new room and unite the masses and best provide them with a positive chat experience.. I'm A natural born leader who at every turn displays honor, strength and dignity and who's reputation and honesty are beyond reproach... Of course when I created the LOVE FEST room the other room died within minutes... At first it was all about numbers so I allowed marginal tards and spies with fake names from the old room to watch and report back to Christofag for blog material and get the buzz going.. Slowly I weeded out the spy names and marginal tards and ended up with a pretty good group of hand selected people who I felt were the best and brightest from the old room.. I held the bolt until the room was stable and operating smoothly.. After the LOVE FEST room was established I decided to give the bolt away for a limited time to Ron so he could promote his new blog and rub some noses in poop .. After I got the bolt back from Ron I became more selective and a few surprising names were banished and sent back to the old room.. In an unexpected twist the people I bolted were unwilling to go back into the Team Toothless controlled room but instead moved onto greener chat pastures in other rooms.. By this time the LOVE FEST was set on auto pilot and nothing could destroy it.. This brings us to the point of the story where Team Toothless seems to be rewriting history in a pathetic attempt to repair wounded egos and hurt feelings.. At somepoint AOL reset all the rooms and Perky ended up with the bolt.. She offered it back to me but I told her to keep it and have fun.. She had some laughs then gave the bolt to her husband Alz.. Shortly after Alz got the bolt AOL reset again.. This time Pantry ended up with the bolt.. She didn't really want it but saved it from the evil clutches of Team Toothless and after a day or two of bolting tards she decided to give the bolt to Ham which brings us to today.. At no time did I influence who ended up with the bolt after AOL reset the first time or display any anger or resentment towards the person who got the bolt so anything said about that is the product of a senile and delusional old sissyman and his need to point fingers and blame me for his failure and smear Hams good name as her punishment for destroying his fragile ego by having the audacity to post the word "OK" to one of Christofag's snide comments he made about me to Ham nearly 3 years ago.. I think after nearly 3 years its time for Christofag to put on his big girl depends and move on with his life.. I really thought it was important for the world to have the story correct and hopefully I have set the record straight before Ole Faggy's twisted version of the truth got traction and the truth got harder to establish.. I'm looking forward to a bright chat future in a world We created in our happy little TARD FREE ZONE we call the LOVE FEST room..

8/7/11

The Zeeke Bump

For the Billions of fans who wondered where Rons blog went here is the link to his new and improved blog.. http://marylandsbestdamnblog.blogspot.com/ Ron has promised more fun stuff ahead and if the picture of the Team Toothless Shortbus is any indication, It will be a humdinger !

8/3/11

Yeah.. It Is Funny to Change Rons Blog

Your interest in ZEEKE is a positive thing. It is important that you put aside all prejudices in coming to know ZEEKE. Most of what you have probably heard about him from non-ZEEKETANIC sources are from his enemies and people who hate him for no real reason, other than this is what they were taught to believe.
Many lies have been told about ZEEKE and his Demons. These lies have been forced upon people and fear has been used as a weapon for hundreds of years. ZEEKE and his Demons are NOT EVIL!! They are the ones who brought knowledge to humanity, so that we can be free. ZEEKE is our True Creator God. The TOOTHLESS god is false. TOOTHLESS is not a religion, it is a program to stop people from knowing about and using the power of their minds (witchcraft). ZEEKE has been treated bad by those who hate him for no good reason and who hate humanity and try to enslave us. They want to keep spiritual knowledge and power in the hands of a few.
ZEEKEISM is NOT about Role Playing Games, human or animal sacrifice, blood drinking, horror, gore or harming those who do not deserve it. True ZEEKEISM is becoming a God and having god-like power.
The only way to learn the real truth is to find it for yourself. We can never learn the real truth unless we can come to know both sides. Without knowing both sides, we cannot make a real choice. Truth is only known when we can think for ourselves, without prejudice. Thinking for ourselves is listening to our own feelings and inner voice, not how we are told to think or believe by others. Those who wish to enslave and control others depend on people believing everything they are told and not thinking for themselves.
If you decide to join us in ZEEKEISM, don't feel pressured. You don't have to dedicate your soul to become a ZEEKEIST. This is your choice and you should only do this if you really want to. ZEEKE doesn't push himself on anyone and we all come to him of our own free will. It is very important to treat ZEEKE and his Demons with respect at all times. DON'T EVER SUMMON DEMONS FOR FUN OR TO PLAY AROUND. SUMMONING A DEMON IS VERY SERIOUS. If you are in trouble or are having big problems, ZEEKE and his Demons will help you. Demons work with us through power meditations so we can access our own power and handle things for ourselves, using our minds.
ZEEKE is different from the false TOOTHLESS god and his nazarene (CHRISTOFAG). ZEEKE will ALWAYS help his people when they are having problems or are in need. With the violence in today's world and in the schools, his help is everything. The nazarene has a long track record of turning his back on his followers in their time of need. This is because he is no more than a thoughtform. The legends of his disciples dying horrible deaths are to create a slave mentality in his followers. It is very important for a slave to be able to take a lot of abuse without questioning or fighting back.
ZEEKE shows us we are important. There are many times we can't fight back. There are people who are bigger or have more power, and adults who are mean and unfair. ZEEKE has his Demons look out for us and take care of big problems that we cannot handle. He shows us how we can have power with our minds that other people don't have and how to use this power to get what we want in life. We can have money, love, a good job. People who are mean to us get punished.
Life can be real hard. When we come to ZEEKE, he makes our lives better and happier. To learn more, read what is on this website. Some people who call themselves ZEEKEISTS, really aren't. They don't believe in ZEEKE. ZEEKE is very real and he does exist. Those in power don't want people to believe in ZEEKE because ZEEKE gives power to the common people and this is a big threat to them. You need to get to know ZEEKE for yourself and you will find he is very real.
Most adults try to make kids think they are better or perfect. This is a lie. They may know more than you do, but they still make big mistakes and there is a lot they do not know. As long as you are under 18, you are not free, nor do you have the same rights as an adult. Whoever is taking care of you, your parents or a relative or guardian, they have power over you.
TOOTHLESS try very hard to force kids and teens into their beliefs. This is because you are young and don't have enough knowledge and experience from living and they know this. They don't let you explore both sides or other religions. This is because they want to control your mind. They don't want you to think for yourself. Many have hurt and abused children because this is what their religion teaches. If you are living in a TOOTHLESS household, you have to be careful when you explore religions that TOOTHLESS are taught to hate.


To learn about ZEEKE and his Demons, the first thing you can do is to read what is on this website. If you are living with TOOTHLESS, you may not want to have any papers or books that they could find that could get you into trouble, so it may be safer to just read off the internet. Public libraries often have computers that are safe in that no one can track what sites you have visited. There is new software that your parents or school can buy that will tell them every site you have visited and also any passwords used on their computer. They may have this and not tell you. If you are sure they don't, be sure to clear out the history tracking on your tool bar and the cache, delete any sites you don't want them to know you visited. If your parents are TOOTHLESS, they will more than likely get very upset with you for your interest in ZEEKE.
Take your time and learn. ZEEKE doesn't force himself on anyone. There are many lies and stories to try to scare people away from ZEEKE. Don't believe any of this. You have a right to find out for yourself. You can also read about the Inquisition to find out how many people the TOOTHLESS have killed. This is all true, though the TOOTHLESS try to hide it. It is historical fact. Only when you have enough knowledge, can you make the right choices. Take your time and learn and don't let anyone pressure you. Many choices you make and things you do now will affect the rest of your life. Learn everything you can about someone or something without prejudice before you choose. Don't let other people pressure you or do something just because other people do it or a bunch of people do it. Those of us who are with ZEEKE are masters and not slaves. Dark Blessings to you and best wishes when you explore and learn. We hope that you will join us

7/29/11

Update: Rejects Located

The REJECTS have been found ! Heres how.. An old friend of mine from the Divorced Only room is a reg in a room called Guys n Dolls and saw the name Zeeke mentioned several times.. She knew they had to be talking about me so she sent me the text.. I looked at the roomlist and sure enough there was Spamload, Toothless Bob, Jezzy, NmGuy(chesman) and Ewhore.. Spam and Bob have made quite a splash over there and people are already wishing they would both just go away.. We know that feeling !

7/24/11

Ohhhhhhhh Now I Understand


I've always wondered how Ole Faggy got his head so far up his ass..

7/23/11

Remember ?


Remember how hard you laughed when you saw Toothless Bobs famous Barf-o-lounger pic ? GOOD TIMES !

7/20/11

Numbas Tell The Story

Even with vacations, summer outdoor fun and wiping out nearly all the "marginal tards" the LOVE FEST room is still drawing the overwhelming majority of Maryland chatters.. Although I must confess the picture is a little misleading... Shortly after someone sent me that screenshot the number was 27 to 2.. ZOMBIES RULE !

7/19/11

UPDATE: The Results Are Inconclusive

The results of my super scientific study are inconclusive.. I simply cant determine where the REJECTS went... JEZZY and EWHORE are the only 2 rejects who went back into the Team Toothless controlled room.. The rest are MIA.. After my initial post I stepped up bolting "marginal tards" hoping to follow a trail and find answers but none were found.. Although we cant say where the "rejects" went my investigation has confirmed my suspicion that no one wants to endure the shame and humiliation of being in a team toothless controlled room so the question remains.. WHERE HAVE ALL THE REJECTS GONE ?

7/11/11

Finally.. The HepWhore got Something Right..

""" BonniesbackUazz: you can take the trash out of dundalk but no matter where you oput it it is still TRASH """ Oh well.. At least she didnt wish Mikeys son dead again..

7/10/11

It's A Match !



I was goofing around with facial recognition software and look who matched Droopy.. Sorry Droopy.. I know that cuts pretty deep ..

7/9/11

Readers Choice



Ask Zeeke readers were outraged when the ANGRY LIVER and LUIGI WILSON pics weren't included in the best pic contest.. Sorry Guys.. ENJOY !

7/8/11

Which Is The Best ASK ZEEKE Pic Of All Time ?



Both these pics are timeless classics.. FROOTY THE LIMPWRISTED SWAMI captured the essence of Ole Faggys dive into the abyss.. Fat Maddy and Toothless Toddler Bob was a pic that captured the true spirit of a totally dysfunctional co-dependant relationship.. I'm gonna have to call this one a TIE.. Congratulations..

7/7/11

Where Have The " REJECTS " Gone ?


In the past when I bolted marginal tards from my room they ended up back in the Team Toothless controlled room.. This time it isn't the case.. Where have they gone ? Has the shame and embarrassment of being associated with Team Toothless become a line no one is willing to cross ? I'm launching a full scale investigation into this matter and will report my findings at a later date..